so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
