The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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