Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
