another moral hangover. fuck.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
