Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
