so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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