who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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