Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
