no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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