You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize