Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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