I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
