no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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