What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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