Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
