You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
