ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
