i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Non-Jews are for practice
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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