GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
