pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
