I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
