Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
