I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sext me about skeletons
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
