I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
