so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
