you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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