Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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