I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
