is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
