Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I AM VODKA MAN
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize