i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
