Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
