dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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