Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
