Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
