Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
