its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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