how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
