i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
