so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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