Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
