OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
