Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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