Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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