Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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