I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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