I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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