I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
