i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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