never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
