Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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