you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
