Don't you send me to vm
nut hugger
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My hand turned me down
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
