uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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