if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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