batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
