just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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