i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Randomize
