You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
